While on this self love journey, I have discovered the fun of taking oneself on a date. I have seen this idea throughout the years but I would get anxious for going to order or talk to a stranger. I thought I could never go out by myself. I have always lived with others and it was easiest to run errands with others. I never had to move out of my comfort zone. I would make strides in other ways but I never took that step out of my comfort zone.
With places opening up more and with me feeling more comfortable with going places, I started doing this. I did not necessarily make the conscious decision of hey I’m going to run errands and go treat myself during it. It arose from having to run an errand on my day off. With my odd schedule I get every other Wednesday or Friday off depending on when I work weekends. It does not line up with my boyfriend’s schedule. Yet, the stuff needed to be done.
The first time I had to run out and pick up miscellaneous groceries for dinner and my boyfriend had meetings all day. So I ran out by myself, to quell some of the anxiety I picked up a treat for myself. This would come up a few times, where I had to run out to pick up stuff and I would treat myself. It was not until more recently that I would actually decide, I’m taking myself out on a date.
My first date was a couple of weeks ago. I went out to a comic book store, coffee shop, and picked up tacos for lunch. Originally this day was supposed to be when my boyfriend and I went to run fun errands. Yet, his dad had the day off and was able to help us out with our patio. So my boyfriend stayed back and they worked on the patio. Mind you, there was only so much work. If I had stayed, I would have been more of a hindrance than helpful. I decided to still go out. I made an adventure out of it.
I stopped at a local coffee shop first. I talked with the barista for a bit and found out our birthdays are one day apart which is really cool. From there I went to the comic shop and ordered a series for myself. I also found a cool new series for me to start reading. I went to a taco truck and had a great conversation with the cook. He and I had a conversation in Spanish, which does not seem like much. But when you rarely get to talk in Spanish and you finally find another Latino, it is exciting. I came home and was excited to talk to my boyfriend about it.
My most recent date, I took myself to a local book shop. I had seen the book shop in passing but never stopped. Between my nerves with COVID and not making time, I had never gone in. I had my day off on Wednesday and my boyfriend was in meetings all day. I actually took the time to plan out my date, I would go to the bookshop and check out a local barbecue place. I went out to the bookstore and had so much fun. I would text my boyfriend with updates because I was really excited and wanted to share that with him. I spent an hour just browsing before I picked up many books. I got a few classics, a nice edition of Lord of the Rings and Hobbit, and a Disney series. The shop worker was such a sweet lady and we talked about the classics. Following I went to pick up lunch and the lady who helped me at the restaurant was so sweet and helpful. The food was amazing, and local.
Taking myself out on these last few dates have helped me feel more confident and happy. I feel confident in my ability to speak up for myself and do the things I want to do. I am not running on someone else’s schedule, or concerned about what they want to do next. This is not anything against anyone, it is just different. It was nice. I got to discover more of my town and meet lovely people. I had fun and I will be continuing taking myself on dates when my schedule calls for it. I love taking a couple of hours out of my day off and doing fun things.
It was not easy to start off with. But I do highly recommend taking yourself out on a date. Start off small, take yourself out for coffee. Or go to a bookstore for a bit. As you get more comfortable with that, add to it. Typically when I would go out with my boyfriend, we would have a day out of it. We would have dinner and a movie or go out to a shopping center. Or we would go hiking all day long. So why can’t I do that for myself? Take the time and learn to be with yourself. You have been with yourself for your whole life. Why not celebrate yourself?