Author: semitasspace

22 year old MSW student. Going to school while working full time.
How to get Back into Reading

How to get Back into Reading

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    If I could go back and tell my high school self that I would stop reading for fun, she would be disappointed. While growing up, I would read all the time. I constantly had a book for fun. I had friends who were avid readers, it was so much fun. Then when undergrad came, I did not have the free time like I used to. It was not until recently that I would find the joy and time for reading. I feel reconnected to my younger self’s love of books.

Undergrad was busy, I won’t lie to myself. I will also admit I stretched myself thin for the first 2 years. I felt like I had to be involved with many clubs and in many classes. I was going for music therapy my first year. That involved taking 8+ classes each semester. They would make certain classes only 1 credit hour so one would not have to pay for going over. Also, ensembles were ‘free credits’. I could not continue on with that, but that is a post for another day. It was not until my junior year that I would drop many extra curriculars. But that is when I was placing my health at the forefront. So the time I spent in extra curriculars, I shifted to working out and taking time to self care. I did not add books into the equation. I was still balancing 6-7 classes until I graduated, so the workload was intense.

When the pandemic hit, I focused on surviving a pandemic and working non stop. I was also attending grad school in the middle of this. I made it through my first semester and had a month break. I decided to read a little about spiritual topics. I was intrigued with working on my spirituality, so I read on it. This was the first time in years that I would read for myself because I was interested in a topic. Then school started back up and the cycle went back to working and school. I did not make the time for reading. 

As my previous posts have brought up, I have worked on my health, skincare, self love, and spirituality. With things slowly opening back up and vaccination numbers increasing, I felt more calm than I had since 2019. It was during this time, an old friend from high school posted on her instagram about her bookstagram page. I decided to give it a follow and support her. This was a tipping off point for my reading journey. This was one of my avid reader friends, we would trade books back and forth and talk about series. It sparked my interest in starting to read again. 

After following her, I began scrolling and found on Pinterest books to read. I started saving them to a new board. After I saw a few books pop up, I decided to get them on the kindle app. I started 2 series at once, “A Court of Thorns and Roses” by Sarah J. Maas and “A Touch of Darkness” by Scarlett St. Clair. These books pulled me into new worlds and brought me joy. From there I started reading comic series and continuing those book series. I felt the same joy that I used to back in high school.

So if you were a reader when you were younger, or you were never a reader but want to start, I have a few suggestions. I suggest following bookstagram pages, booktubers, or booktok. Some really good instagram suggestions are BookishLifeofSam_, Alexandra_Roselyn, and LadyofBookShire. For booktubers, I recommend Alexandra Roselyn and How to Train your Gavin. I do not have tiktok at the moment, so I don’t know booktokers. 

Also I suggest finding the genre you love. I was always a fan of fantasy, fey, and poems. That’s why I was sucked into those book series. Back in highschool I wanted to read the classics and I never got to read them all. So I went out to a local bookstore and picked up a few. If you were never really a reader before, go to a library and pick up different genres and see what pulls you in. 

I suggest making a space for reading. I have a couple of spots for myself. While I had not read in years, when I moved into my boyfriend’s house I struggled with making it feel like our home. I found comfort in making a reading corner. It had a comfy chair, blanket, and cozy lighting. I did not use it while we lived there but I do now. Along with that, I have a spot on my couch, with my weighted blanket, and I just curl up and feel at ease. The final spot I have is my bed. This keeps me from mindlessly scrolling all evening. It helps me relax after a long day and prepare for bed. You don’t need 3 spots like I do, I just don’t like having one spot. I like to change things up and keep it fun. Start with one spot, have the things that make it comfortable. I like curling up with a blanket. Maybe you like relaxing candles while you read. Maybe you like dim lighting or candle light. Maybe you like tea, hot chocolate, coffee or no drink while you read. Make it your own place.

Make time to read. This is an important suggestion, if you do not make the time for things you like you won’t do it. I found for myself that I like reading in the evenings before bed. I take care of cleaning and taking care of my plants in the evening before I read. After I’m done doing what I need to, I put on my PJ’s and curl up with my comfiest blanket. And I just read, some nights for 15 minutes and other nights for an hour. It just varies with what else I need to get done in the evening before work the next day. 

These are a few ways of how I got back into reading. It brings so much joy in my life to read again. To get lost in a world for some time before returning to the everyday hustle and bustle. I hope you find your spot and make the time to read. I hope you find the genre that speaks to you. I hope you find the self care aspect of reading.

Take Yourself on a Date

Take Yourself on a Date

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    While on this self love journey, I have discovered the fun of taking oneself on a date. I have seen this idea throughout the years but I would get anxious for going to order or talk to a stranger. I thought I could never go out by myself. I have always lived with others and it was easiest to run errands with others. I never had to move out of my comfort zone. I would make strides in other ways but I never took that step out of my comfort zone. 

    With places opening up more and with me feeling more comfortable with going places, I started doing this. I did not necessarily make the conscious decision of hey I’m going to run errands and go treat myself during it. It arose from having to run an errand on my day off. With my odd schedule I get every other Wednesday or Friday off depending on when I work weekends. It does not line up with my boyfriend’s schedule. Yet, the stuff needed to be done.

    The first time I had to run out and pick up miscellaneous groceries for dinner and my boyfriend had meetings all day. So I ran out by myself, to quell some of the anxiety I picked up a treat for myself. This would come up a few times, where I had to run out to pick up stuff and I would treat myself. It was not until more recently that I would actually decide, I’m taking myself out on a date.

    My first date was a couple of weeks ago. I went out to a comic book store, coffee shop, and picked up tacos for lunch. Originally this day was supposed to be when my boyfriend and I went to run fun errands. Yet, his dad had the day off and was able to help us out with our patio. So my boyfriend stayed back and they worked on the patio. Mind you, there was only so much work. If I had stayed, I would have been more of a hindrance than helpful. I decided to still go out. I made an adventure out of it. 

    I stopped at a local coffee shop first. I talked with the barista for a bit and found out our birthdays are one day apart which is really cool. From there I went to the comic shop and ordered a series for myself. I also found a cool new series for me to start reading. I went to a taco truck and had a great conversation with the cook. He and I had a conversation in Spanish, which does not seem like much. But when you rarely get to talk in Spanish and you finally find another Latino, it is exciting. I came home and was excited to talk to my boyfriend about it. 

    My most recent date, I took myself to a local book shop. I had seen the book shop in passing but never stopped. Between my nerves with COVID and not making time, I had never gone in. I had my day off on Wednesday and my boyfriend was in meetings all day. I actually took the time to plan out my date, I would go to the bookshop and check out a local barbecue place. I went out to the bookstore and had so much fun. I would text my boyfriend with updates because I was really excited and wanted to share that with him. I spent an hour just browsing before I picked up many books. I got a few classics, a nice edition of Lord of the Rings and Hobbit, and a Disney series. The shop worker was such a sweet lady and we talked about the classics. Following I went to pick up lunch and the lady who helped me at the restaurant was so sweet and helpful. The food was amazing, and local. 

    Taking myself out on these last few dates have helped me feel more confident and happy. I feel confident in my ability to speak up for myself and do the things I want to do. I am not running on someone else’s schedule, or concerned about what they want to do next. This is not anything against anyone, it is just different. It was nice. I got to discover more of my town and meet lovely people. I had fun and I will be continuing taking myself on dates when my schedule calls for it. I love taking a couple of hours out of my day off and doing fun things. 

It was not easy to start off with. But I do highly recommend taking yourself out on a date. Start off small, take yourself out for coffee. Or go to a bookstore for a bit. As you get more comfortable with that, add to it. Typically when I would go out with my boyfriend, we would have a day out of it. We would have dinner and a movie or go out to a shopping center. Or we would go hiking all day long. So why can’t I do that for myself? Take the time and learn to be with yourself. You have been with yourself for your whole life. Why not celebrate yourself?

Finding Homeostasis in Limbo

Finding Homeostasis in Limbo

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The idea of homeostasis arises from biology and the scientific realm. It is the body’s ability returning to a sense of normalcy and balance. Your body sweats in order to keep the body temperature at 98.6. Your body has white blood cells and antibodies to help bring your body back to normal when you get sick. As I write this, I think I have found my form of homeostasis with my health; body, mind, and spirit.

When COVID first hit, I was already struggling to figure out a workout routine. When I was in my last year of undergrad, I was working out consistently. I was working out 3-4 times a week and did various workouts. I felt as if there was no way of getting back to that when everything hit the fan. When stress and workload tripled, I didn’t even try to work out. I was working longer hours and had stress and fear of COVID. I didn’t notice the effects of this on my body until I was trying to help a client do his assessment with the psychiatric nurse. He was being asked to step on the scale, so I said I would go first. When I saw that number on the scale, I panicked. I was almost 20 pounds heavier than I was pre COVID. I was at my heaviest weight, sure I wasn’t the heaviest person in the world. But it felt like all the work I put into myself was gone. That I stopped caring for myself in order to care for others. 

That was in October of 2020, and it was still months before I would actually find balance. I just knew something had to change at that moment. It was around this time when I was trying to figure out what I liked to do. I remembered how much I loved cycling, so I began researching what bikes would do well. I did end up going with the peloton. My boyfriend helped me purchase it and I saved up for weeks. I got it towards the end of November, I was consistently on it. Then the December holiday season rolled around, and I was working even more. So I fell off for a bit. 

Come January, my friends and I were talking about doing more yoga. So we set up a discord and scheduled out virtual yoga. We began doing yoga 2x a week. This was the starting point of where I am now. It brought me consistency which is important to see any change and find balance. This was a good way to start finding my strength.

As I continued through this, a friend of mine was also trying to find a way to work out consistently. So we began running during March. I used to keep a consistent pace of 9:30 and could run for 2 miles. But I was struggling to do a mile at 13 minutes. It was very disheartening to see how much I stopped caring for myself. It was a battle in my mind, to get back into it you can do it and how could you stop? It took me a while to be kind and forgiving for myself. After all, we are still going through a pandemic. Yet, the running had to go on pause for finals season. Since then I’ve run about 2-3 times but I’m hoping to get back into running consistently. 

Along with that, I have started going to the gym. I was always anxious about going to the gym. About messing up in front of others at the gym, about not knowing what to do. Yet, my same friend used to go all the time pre-pandemic. It was a little less nerve racking when I went with her. I still have anxieties because I’m not super strong or have good form. Or even know what to do in the gym. But I am going and that is what matters at the end of the day. 

Since starting this journey, I now work out anywhere between 3-5 days a week. It has been about a month of this routine. That is why I have not been posting, I have been trying to rediscover my health. I have been trying to return to my homeostasis. Where I am working out, I am taking time out for myself, and I feel good. Sure the number on the scale is what kickstarted this but it is not the factor that I am chasing after. I am not chasing after a low number on the scale, I am looking for strength and to feel good. I want to have energy to move and be happy. Being a female, the number on the scale is going to fluctuate regardless of what I do. The scale is not a good measure of health. But how I feel in my skin matters, how strong I feel matters, how confident I am in myself matters.

Body Neutrality for 2021

Body Neutrality for 2021

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Body Neutrality is a term that has crossed my radar this year. I have been in the camp of body negativity and I have dabbled with body positivity. Unbeknownst to me, I was never really content with my body. Even with all the positivity in the world, it would not take away the years of negativity and the negativity did not remove when I did feel good about myself. I was never meant to pick a side on this scale, I was meant to find a middle point. 

Body negativity was easy to pick up. It is easy to be negative when you have a society and social media showing you all the things you do not have. It is easy when you grow up with other girls who are also pointing out what they hate about their bodies. You see them as beautiful and can’t believe they would talk so poorly about themselves. Yet, here you are talking down to yourself. It takes years to even fully recognize that you are in this cycle.

Once I was in my senior year of high school, I decided I was done with the cycle. I had started the road toward body positivity. I was choosing only the clothing that made me feel good. I was doing my makeup before school. Throughout college I kept working on my mindset that I was beautiful. I learned how to love the gap in my teeth. I began smiling with my teeth showing. I loved my face without makeup and with makeup. I absolutely loved my body.

I hit a roadblock after my sophomore year of college. I was going through a hard time and going to therapy. I gained at least 10-15lbs in a short span of time. I was back into my cycle of negativity. It was like all those years of work were for nothing. It took me months before I decided to do something about it. My therapist kept telling me about the benefits of exercise within the realm of mental health. That it would be good for me. So with my boyfriend’s help, I started running. Mind you I had never worked out a day in my life before. My high school gym teachers were lucky if I half-assed something. 

It took me a few months before I liked running and working out. Once I did, I kept doing it a few times a month. I felt strong in my body. This helped me back toward the body positivity train. I was strong and I was confident in myself. I continued my work in therapy and worked on my mindset. I was back to loving myself and my body. I was positive about who I was as a person and what I would do. I was going so well.

Until I was not, when COVID hit I was one of many who gained weight. Those 10-15lbs I had lost and felt strong, were back and I was not in a good headspace. I was not concerned about the weight anymore but the headspace was not where I wanted to be. Me being me, I wanted to work toward that positive headspace again. I never realized that I had fallen into a cycle. I was going back and forth between body negativity and positivity. It was at this moment that I heard the term of body neutrality. I was watching a video by Carrie Dayton who introduced me to this term. It is the idea that you do not have to always be positive about your body nor do you need to be negative about it. Your body is just that, your body. Not a positive stimulus or a negative stimulus. That its function is to keep you alive and help you go about your day. 

This new perspective is taking some time to adjust to. I want to revert to either end of the spectrum, almost each day. But I constantly remind myself that that is not what my body is for. I’m tired of ping ponging back and forth between being so hard on my body and so positive about it. I don’t need to think of myself as a snack to provide my body with what it needs. Nor do I need to deprive my body because it is not this idealized body in society’s eyes. I do not need to worry about what a scale says about my weight. I just need to fuel it with what is good and exercise because it boosts my mood. That’s it.

Analyzing “That Girl” Trend

Analyzing “That Girl” Trend

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Throughout Youtube I have been watching “How to be That girl” videos, which is a trend on TikTok. I have removed tik tok as a form of self care and a way to have more hours in the day. But that is for another post on another day. Yet, this trend has come through onto Youtube and has crossed my recommendations. It piqued my curiosity and I fell down this rabbit hole.

The idea of That Girl, arising from those who are posting the best aspects and best routines. They follow this idea of waking up early, working out, eating right, and doing productive things. It is an interesting concept which is probably why it is trending right now. It catches one’s attention of “if only I could do those things.” If I did those things my life would be better. Yet how is one to know that that is the case?

It is easy for influencers to create routines such as described above. When you choose your own schedule and what you do for your business, its a little easier than those who have a 9-5 or an ever changing schedule. With my job, I can never know for sure when I am leaving work; if a crisis occurs 10 minutes before I planned to leave, then I’m there for an extra hour. A thing that gets forgotten is that influencers are able to wake up, go work out and have the financial means of making everything healthy and focus on macros. I am not saying it is impossible for everyday people but it definitely gets easier when you have the time and money to be “that girl”. 

The concept of being “that girl” is not inherently negative or problematic. Yet, with anything that comes from social media, people are just posting their best moments. They do not post the days they are not productive. They do not always post their off days. It is hard to see only the positive aspects of “That girl” without the balance of the off days. As humans we are going to have productive days and rest days. There is nothing wrong with either end, so long as there is that balance. One should not idolize “That Girl” and feel upset that they can not achieve that. 

The concept is achievable for everyday people. I think it mostly arises from the benefits of having a consistent routine. It does not have to start early in the morning as it does for those on social media. It can be your own routine in the evening. You don’t have to wake up at 5 am to work out before work. You can do your workout at 8 pm if that works for you. You also don’t need to throw every aspect of “That girl” in at once. It is not fair for you to expect you can add in a 20 step routine and keep up with it. Just take one step at a time, build one habit at a time. For example if you want a skincare routine, workout consistently, eat healthy, and be productive. Start with one part, like eating healthy. Once you establish healthy meals for a period of time, add in the skincare routine. Once that is established add in ways to be productive and eventually the workout routine. 

Once every step is incorporated, you could be “That girl” but you still need to understand you are human. You are going to have off days, days of cravings, and horrible days. It does not take away your value and who you are. It is a rest period and you pick it back up when you can. Life is not an all or nothing, even if social media only shows the good. It is an interesting trend, and may help people develop their own routines. If people personalize “That Girl” for themselves, it could help how they view their day and life.

My Experience with Moderna

My Experience with Moderna

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I was in the first round of people who were vaccinated. I had my first dose back on December 24, 2020. I had my second dose on January 21, 2020. I received the Moderna and can only speak to my experience with it. Due to working in a residential facility, I have been working non stop since the pandemic started. I have been an essential worker since day one. So to hear the early news of the vaccine, it lifted a weight of stress off of my shoulders. My boyfriend has asthmas and my clients have been here for months on end. I had a lot of people at risk prior to me getting my vaccine. Mind you, I am still not going out and socializing. Also I wear a mask wherever I go. I do not know when I will feel comfortable with leaving the house without a mask.

I received my first vaccine on Christmas Eve. I waited in a short line that morning and went into work following the wait time. The nurses that were volunteering were very helpful. The administration of the vaccine had no hiccups and I waited the 15 minutes after with no issues. I went into work and ran a group with no issues. It was not until 5-6 hours when I felt my left arm was sore. By this point, I left work because of the holiday. I was off Christmas Day and worked the weekend after with no issues, other than a sore arm.

Towards the end of January was when I was due for my second dose. I originally was supposed to work on Thursday but the hours that were available, would require me to leave in the middle of the work day and return. I was not sure how long the lines would be since they started opening up to more people. With this in mind, I decided to take the day off. I am glad that I did, it wound up taking me a little over 2 hours to get through the line and do my waiting period. At this point, there was a higher priority for those who needed the first dose. There were more lines open for the first dose. At my location downtown, there were no appointments, just open windows of 10-5. You would just arrive and wait in line until it was your time. It was not the best time but it was not the worst thing. It was hopeful to see people getting their vaccines.

Once again, no issues for the first few hours after the vaccine. On that Thursday I had a sore arm by the time I went to bed. During the night I woke up a few times during the night, which is not typical for me. I woke up around 7 am on my typical day off, and had the worst headache I have had in a long time. So I got up to take Tylenol and drink water. I fell back asleep and woke up with a slight fever and was dizzy. It felt as though I had a rough flu. I felt bad for most of the day so I did not eat very much that day. But I did drink liquids and rest as I would when I normally have the flu or a cold. By the end of the day on Friday, I felt a little better.

The following day, I felt night and day different. I felt like I was on cloud 9 when compared to how I felt on Friday. I had to run groups that weekend as it was my weekend on. I had almost no issues other than my sore arm. I would say that the sore arm hung around for a few days after each vaccine. 

But now I have had no issues but a lot of stress lifted off of my shoulders. As vaccines open up for more and more people, it feels as though we are nearing the light at the end of the tunnel. So I wanted to talk about my own experience with it. Yes, we run the risks of side effects from the vaccine but the same goes for many vaccines. We may have COVID around for years to come but if I am protected from, I will not worry about my client’s safety or my boyfriend’s safety. I have been vaccinated for about 2.5 months. I do not regret it at all and if down the line the CDC states a need for yearly vaccines, I am okay with that. I prefer this over the risks that come with getting or dying from COVID. Having fears surrounding medical care is normal, especially in these uncertain times. But I trust that we are learning day to day on what to do with regards to COVID. We will move toward a new normal and hopefully can hug our family like we used to. 

Using Intention to Chase your Dreams

Using Intention to Chase your Dreams

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Throughout one’s life, people around you are constantly telling you to follow your dreams. But they never have an idea as to how to follow your dreams. Some people pick a dream, like go to college and follow what preplanned steps their high school gave to them. There is no special formula or steps on what program to choose or what school is the best for you. The counselors or your parents may provide their opinions but they have lived life through a different lens than you. Once you’re out of school there is no guide book on how to find a job or how to move up at your work. And if you are someone who has creative dreams of becoming an artist or musician rather than a neurosurgeon, it gets harder to ‘follow your dreams.” 

Regardless of if you want to be a lawyer, surgeon, musician, work in a factory, design art, or write a blog,  to do the things you want to do you need to be intentional with what you do. Intentionality relates to this idea of purposefully choosing your next step that aligns with your overarching goal. If your goal is to be a doctor, you need to be intentional with how I can learn what I need. This may look like I need scores to get into a university for pre medicine or another degree. I can not tell you which degree to go in, but if it’s done intentionally and you take the MCAT, you can apply for medical school. So a way to be intentional with this is, you sit down in all your classes and learn the material. Being intentional does not mean you memorize and regurgitate the information. Many people can memorize for a period and regurgitate, but are they living the life they want? 

Alongside that, being intentional does not mean solely a career goal. I used that example to help make this abstract concept more concrete since countries like the United States like to focus on what you do for a career. But this same idea of intentionality goes toward any passion you have in life. If you like reading, making a reading nook and time to read is being intentional. Your time is the same amount of time as anyone else. Time goes at the same pace for someone who is just punching in and punching out and the same for someone who loves the life that they live. So if you want to start a hobby like skating or knitting, start that intentionally. That does not mean that you will love the grind and the effort that it constantly takes to get better at a hobby. But if you’re going into it with an intentional mind and openness  to the hobby, you will stick with it more. 

When I started my minimalism journey, I thought it would be the same as when I ‘decluttered’ previously. In the past, I would get rid of a few pieces but kept pieces for very specific scenarios that never came through. Then I would impulse buy even more stuff than what I got rid of, so it would bring back the need to declutter again. So when I did my first official declutter on this journey, I was intentional on what I kept. I kept what made me happy, was multifaceted, and it fit. As I continue this journey, I am still going through and getting rid of anything that does not fit those boxes for me. Anything I do bring into my home or closet, it has to be done intentionally. So does it fit a purpose, does it make me happy, and is it multifaceted. 

Starting this blog, it began from a place of intentionality. I started this blog out of a passion to share what I learn in life and in graduate school. But I will be honest with you, I stopped being intentional about it. I stopped scheduling my time for what I wanted, and what I really liked to do. I stopped posting or checking up on my website. The other day, I was coming home from a friend’s house and it hit me that if I want a blog, I can not just post once a blue moon. I need to make the time and effort for this. If not, this just becomes one of those projects that get started and never finished. Which would just leave me in a place of resent or regret. Like why did I never post more? Why did I give up? What could have happened if I continued? 

So, I ask you what are you going to start being intentional about today? What is going to be the passion that you will work on and get better at? It could be doing your school work or starting to knit or starting a blog. Either way, it is best to start today and make the plans to be intentional. If that means calendar blocking, then calendar block. If that means dedicating a space for this, do that. To be intentional is to do. Not to sit with yourself and think of what could go wrong, and why you can not do something. Thinking such as that will be your downfall. What will you do intentionally today for your future self. A fitness YouTuber HopeScope, said that what you do today will be reflected back within 3 months. She was being specific with fitness and eating habits but that still applies to anything in life. If you dedicate the time starting now, you will see rewards for it in the future. But if you do not start now, you will see either the same thing in 3 months or an unhappier version of yourself. Do yourself the favor, do the things that you want to do.

What’s in my Grad School Bag

What’s in my Grad School Bag

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    Finishing up my first year, I have found what works and what does not when it comes to my grad school bag. My bag comes with me to and from work. There are some down times when the clients are in school, so I get a chance to work on homework and reading. I think I have gotten it down to still work when it comes to actually going on to campus. There has been talk of us returning to campus, since 90% of students have been online for this past year and a half. But the idea of returning on campus is for another post. 

    When it comes to my bag, the first thing is my actual bag. I have been using my Fjall Raven Kanken. I have the 14 inch laptop bag, it fits my iPad with no issues and the rest of my supplies. I currently have the green bag and soon I will be embroidering it to make it personalized. The bag works great because it evens out the weight of my stuff without hurting my back. There was a period of time when I was using a purse with a laptop sleeve. Yet, I noticed more pain in my back from going back and forth. So I went to my kanken, and noticed a shift. 

    The second most important thing is my iPad. I have the iPad Pro 2020 128 gb in space grey. With that I am able to keep my most, if not all, my textbooks digital. This keeps my paper consumption down to a minimum in grad school. I love that I am able to highlight and make notes through my iPad. I also have my note taking on the iPad. I use the app Notability, for all my notes. I use subjects and headers to divide my notes based on subject, in class, and text book. After a semester finishes up, I move my notes into a folder for the semester. I love the ability to have various pens and highlighters specific to each class. And to de-stress, I use procreate to draw.

    To go along with the iPad, I’ve got various accessories to go along with it. I used to just have a trifold case and my old Bluetooth Mac keyboard. I just recently upgraded to the magic keyboard. I bought this through amazon since it is almost $100 off, when compared to the apple site. It does add a little weight to my bag but since I’m using the Kanken, it’s well distributed. But being able to have my keyboard connected to the case is very helpful. It takes up less space and I can type while it is in my lap or on a table. Also, I have the apple pen II. I use this to do my handwritten notes. While I may be going for the most part paperless, I still recognize the research behind hand writing your notes. To help it, I use a paper like screen protector. It helps me to draw and write as if I am writing on paper. This also helps keep my paper consumption down. Because if hand taken my notes, I would’ve gone through a good amount of paper like I did in undergrad. 

    I have brought my paper consumption down, but I still like the use of a paper bullet journal. I have tried using a digital planner and a physical planner, but I like the flexibility that comes with a bullet journal. It also counts as a destressor for myself. With my bullet journal I use: a multitasky notebook, pilot g2 pen, Tul pencil and eraser, and zebra mild liners. For the first few months, I have been designing it minimally to maximize its use but with the semester winding down, I have been able to be more creative with it. Which has been beneficial for my stress as we finish out. 

    For the miscellaneous things, I still use note cards for the few tests that I have had. I also use sticky notes when it comes to my mind dumps. If I am in the middle of class and the professor references a final or a paper, I scribble it down so it’s not taking up space in my headspace. I can place the sticky notes on my wall as reminders of what I need to do without distracting myself in the middle of class.

My grad school bag is definitely different from my bag for undergrad. I find it to be more efficient and lighter than undergrad. I have used about ¾ less paper than I have in previous school years. Which feels great that I am being a little more sustainable than before. It is the little steps that help the environment in the long run. The supplies I found to work took a little trial and error. This may shift as I transition back to being on campus again. It’s been over a year and a half since I have had to walk around campus and this will be different as a commuter grad student. But I need to take it one day at a time.

How does minimalism work?

How does minimalism work?

by semitasspace ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Growing up, I had a walk-in closet, 2 dressers, 2 night stands, and a desk in my bedroom. In high school, my step dad built me a bed frame with built in shelves. I had every storage item in my room, packed to the max. I had too much stuff, and as an indecisive person, that’s a problem. I would get rid of enough stuff so I could close my drawers. That would only last for so long. It was never a good solution for my problem. But it ‘worked’ while I was in high school.

When I went to school my freshman year, I packed about half of my closet. I had decent storage in my dorm. Then I bought a plastic storage container from Walmart, for more storage. Once again, I had all my drawers packed, no matter how I folded my clothing. This continued throughout undergrad. I continued to move back and forth half of my closet. The biggest issue with this is that I either didn’t wear ⅓ of it, or I wore ⅓ once or twice a school year. I didn’t actually realize that until my senior semester.

Halfway through my senior semester, I had to sit down and figure out my clothing situation. I was preparing to move in with my boyfriend. He lived in a townhouse, with about one good sized closet. There was no way I could take all the clothing that I had been carting back and forth for the last 3.5 years. It was at this point when I started looking into minimalism. Trying to find a better solution for my clothing and to keep what I actually wear.

Minimalism has been described as a lifestyle relating to living with less. I watched countless hours of videos, podcasts, and even read Marie Kondo’s book. Below I will link some good resources. After countless days of researching, I was ready to dive in. I asked my boyfriend to come over and assist me in decluttering. I did not want to get rid of some clothing and put a bandaid on the problem. I wanted his opinion for 1) do I actually wear it enough and 2) does it look good on my body. This was the first time in my life that I was brutal to my clothing. It took hours to go through all my clothing and I had moments of frustration. This was not an easy task for me.

But once I was done and put away all my clothing I was keeping, I felt really good. Finding clothing in the morning was so much easier. I felt good with my closet situation. I donated about 2-3 garbage bags. I threw out about one garbage bag of trash from broken or over used clothing. I had never gone this in depth with my declutter. This was the first purge. This allowed me to finish out school with a better number of clothing articles. 

After I moved in, I still had an issue of a little too much clothing. We went out to IKEA and bought a clothing rack and small dresser. I decided that my seasonal clothing would go on the clothing rack. My everyday wear of t-shirts, leggings, and undergarments would go in the dresser. The out of season clothing went into the little closet space I had. I folded my clothing in the Marie Kondo style. But I removed about 2 more bags of clothing at this point in time. I removed even more shoes. Getting rid of shoes is my kryptonite.

Once again, I felt amazing when I removed all the clothing I still wasn’t wearing after the initial purge. For work, I wear the same things; a top, jeans, and running shoes. That’s it. My workwear is casual considering I am in residential care. I need to be able to move easy and play with the kids. Things were going good but every so often when I opened my drawers, I would see the shirts I don’t wear. But for some reason I couldn’t get rid of them. I was a bit stuck. 

I am currently moving into our first home. We do have more space there than our current townhouse. But I’m not buying tons of clothing. Between the two of us, we removed another 4 garbage bags for donation. The shirts that were sitting in my drawers I wasn’t touching, have finally gone. I have about 2 shirts that I’m not crazy about but they were from my fraternity so I feel weird donating those shirts. But from 7 shirts to 2, is progress. 

I am in the midst of buying staple pieces. I am getting 3 plain neutral t-shirts. This will allow me to get rid of my graphic tees. This will simplify my outfits even more. This will allow me to be more intentional and practical with my wardrobe. A big section of my closet is crop tops, I have about 5 but I alternate between them on my days off. I feel good in every shirt in my closet. I don’t have uncomfortable shirts, and no shirts that I wear every blue moon. I own about 6 pairs of jeans in different styles and colors. I have light wash, medium, dark, and black jeans. 2 pairs are ripped so I alternate those on my days off. I own 3 running shorts, 4 shorts, 4 leggings, 2 skirts, 3 dress pants, and 2 joggers. The only thing that is not getting much wear at the moment are my dress pants. Due to the fact that it is summer and I’m about to start grad school, they can stay. If I don’t wear these in grad school I will get rid of them. I do still have 7 dresses, I may go through my dresses once the summer season ends. Any dress I don’t wear or don’t feel good in, is being donated. 

The biggest portion of my closet is my hoodie section. I used to have about 20 hoodies. At this point, I own about 8 but these aren’t getting decluttered anytime soon. Hoodies have always been a hygge-like thing for me. (Hygge is related to daily coziness. More on this at a later date.) I wear a hoodie every day, whether I am at home or at work. These have always sparked joy and are practical in my closet. 

Minimalism has helped me throughout the last 10 months. I don’t spend forever deciding what to wear. I don’t struggle with clothing that doesn’t fit me right. For this article, I focused mostly on clothing, but I decluttered my office supplies and kitchen gear. I have a refillable notebook, 1 pencil, 2 pens, and 4 highlighters instead of 15 unused notebooks, 30 colored pens, 10 highlighters, and 15 pencils. The benefits I have received from minimalism doesn’t just extend to just clothing. 

My home is easier to clean, everything has a home, and by having less things they are used more often. I have shifted to buying quality items because I am using them more. I have less items but they are being loved. I don’t have a shirt that’s been hiding in my closet for 5 years and only been used once with a certain bra. I don’t have special mugs or a million travel mugs. I grab one, fill it, and wash it for the next day. This prevents a million dishes piling up. I can clean my space easily and quickly. I used to have to sit down and figure out where I put a specific item but now I don’t have to think anymore. I know where my medicine is, where the glass cleaner is, where extra paper towels are etc. There is no time spent thinking and hunting. 

My minimalism stems from practical use. I need to be able to use the item and love it frequently. I no longer desire to have those one time use items. I don’t desire going on huge shopping sprees. If I do go shopping, I follow a one in one out rule. If I buy a new shirt, I get rid of an old one. When I buy new quality sweaters for the fall, I’m getting rid of some that have been loved a little too much over the fall and winter months. But once I get all my staple pieces situated, I doubt I will be doing much shopping. Unless it is something that screams 100% yes, and has a purpose, I won’t be buying. I don’t have a capsule wardrobe or 2 bowls but this works for me and my lifestyle. If you struggle with decisions, I strongly suggest trying minimalism even for a month. You can just pack things up for a month and just use the things you love. But you may not go back to having 20 shirts, 17 dresses, 20 untouched books, and 10 mugs. 

Resources:

There are so many more resources that I have used but these are a good start.

The Minimalist podcast (theminimalists.com/podcast/).

Marie Kondo- The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing (https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering-Organizing-ebook/dp/B00KK0PICK/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=)

Ashlynne Eaton- What’s your minimalist personality type (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9npY6VvwU4) 

Matt D’Avella- A day in the life of a minimalist (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tG2GJZcBKOE)

Rejected from a Ph.D. program, now what?

Rejected from a Ph.D. program, now what?

by semitasspace ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

When I applied to undergraduate programs, I was accepted to all 3 universities with no issues. No wait list and no rejection came from that process. Graduate school applications are not the same as undergraduate. As the title says, I was rejected from the programs. So this blog is about how I dealt with my rejection. And how I didn’t cope with it for a bit. 

The Ph.D trackline for Clinical Psychology is a whole different ball park. Not only do you need certain classes, but you also need research, possible publication, clinical experience, higher than a 3.5 GPA, and about 160 on Verbal and 155 on Qualitative for the GRE. Many of these steps are not easy on their own, let alone with a full schedule and not very good balance. I had bits and pieces, along with help from my advisor for my personal statements. I finished the school year with a 3.57 GPA, so not too shabby if I do say so myself. I had about a year of research going into my senior semester. So I started an independent project with a professor of mine and presented it at my college’s social science symposium. The summer before my senior semester, I gained my clinical experience. I studied for months and took practice tests for the GRE. I took the GRE twice, the first time I got 142 V and 154 Q. So I needed to study more verbal. So the second time round, the testing site was next door to a bar that was having a Halloween party at 12 pm on a Saturday. So even with the soundproof headphones, I could still hear “This is Halloween” from The Nightmare Before Christmas. My scores from that test were 152 V and 149 Q. The scores were not perfect but I was hoping that it wouldn’t be the only factor keeping me out of the program. For some programs I had to take the Psych GRE and I scored very well. I got a 680 which puts me in the 66th percentile. I thought I was a good candidate for a Ph.D. program. My advisor thought that getting into the program shouldn’t be an issue, he was working with me since I changed my major. 

I hit submit before Thanksgiving break, and I was broke after applying to 7 programs. There are so many fees included with applying which sucks. But this started the waiting game. During this waiting game, I graduated and started my full time job. One day, after a rough shift at work, I got an email from Michigan State. It was early January at this point. It was my first rejection letter. It crushed me. I knew going into it that Michigan would be a stretch but I wasn’t expecting it to be my first rejection. Then February came around and I didn’t really hear anything. Which was not a good sign. Then the rejections started rolling in as the shut down came in. The first one hurt the most. By the 5th one, I was numb to the rejection. I didn’t know what my next step was. I didn’t know what I would do.

I took the month of March and half of April to focus on work. It was easy considering things changed dramatically in response to COVID-19. Finally I emailed my advisor to ask what I should do now. He was surprised to hear that I was rejected from all of my programs. He offered for me to join his newest research project. We would be working on a meta analysis with 2-3 other people. This would give me a publication if I continue in on it and help write the paper when we reach that step. Having gone 4 months without doing research, this was exciting. So I joined the project and met up with someone who was working on the project too.

Part of me gave up the idea of graduate school entirely for a year. That I would reapply Fall 2020. But that made me nervous to be away from school for over a year and a half. This was around the time when my boyfriend talked to me about the possibility of a master’s program. Which started me down a rabbit hole of searching, and if you want to read more my last two blog posts go more into it. It has taken me awhile to be okay with I’m not going to have Ph.D. by the time I’m 28. I might go back for it or I might not. I am more open to seeing where my next step takes me. This is something new for me, to be okay with the unknown. 

Originally I wanted to look into the relation between anxiety and depression. As I continue with my current population and just talking with my supervisor. I think my research interests might shift to transgenerational trauma. I had never heard of that term prior to working in the field. While working, I think I’m going to try to look into current research relating to transgenerational trauma. So if I do reapply I’ll have a good understanding of the topic and can come up with a research project relating to it. Which is something that Ph.D. programs want to see that you’re capable of it. 

Did I think I would be here a year ago? No, absolutely not. But I am not mad or upset at that. I was rejected and in the moment it sucked. I have accepted the rejections at this point and am moving forward. I am excited to go for a masters. This will allow me more understanding in the clinical field. This will help me to excel at my job. This is not a form of settling or having regrets. What happened, happened and no amount of regret is going to change that. This degree will still move me in a forward direction in the clinical field even if it’s not a Ph.D. I am still young have so many experiences and chances in front of me. So I am not worried, I am going with where life takes me. I don’t think I would have this same mindset, had I been accepted this first round of applications. But I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn and if I decide to go for a second round of applications, I will be ready for it. Until then, we are living in the here and now. Not 10 years down the line.